strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
