im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
