we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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