We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
