We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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