Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
