i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
