i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
