last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
