Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
