I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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