Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My bed smells like the plague
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
