I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
