omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
