You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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