i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
