the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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