what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
