I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
