He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
