you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
