Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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