He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
