I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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