Do you still have your period?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
