Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
