White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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