somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
