I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
