I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
