I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
