i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
