You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
