What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
