I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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