All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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