Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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