question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
only you would photoshop your dick
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
