im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
