She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
