hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
