when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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