Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We left the knife in your bed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
