the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
