ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
