all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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