Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
