So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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