i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize