ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
