If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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