So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
