She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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