so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
