In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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