ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
