You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
