Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
