two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
my poor anus
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
