New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
