dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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