Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
