i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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