she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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