well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
