im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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