Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
