I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
