i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was confusing and full of hummus
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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